Are you as successful as you want to be in your life or business? For many, the answer is I have some success, but more would be great. That’s because there’s probably more you would like to do – maybe it’s helping more people, building your business so you can serve more people or maybe you have a personal goal you’d like to achieve that you can never quite get around to starting.
So the question is why? Why aren’t we more successful – when we are so focused on achieving the next level of success? When we hold these dreams and goals why are we still not getting to where we want to go?
The fact is that at the subconscious level we can often sabotage ourselves – even when we have the best of intentions. There are things that we’re thinking and doing, that can really be damaging to our success.
If you’re ready to move forward in a very elemental and profound way then read on.
How To Avoid Sabotaging Your Success
So what are these things we’re doing subconsciously and what can we do about them?
1. Recognise There Are Stories You Are Telling Yourself
The first thing is to recognise there are potentially negative stories and voices in our heads that are so ingrained and so much a “part of the furniture” that we often don’t hear them at all.
On the other hand, you might find these voices are quite loud and persistent – like sharks in the water, they circle around and around waiting to pounce any time you let your guard down.
We also need to be careful about the false thinking around the power of positive thinking and affirmations. Often we’re told we should just focus on our affirmations and ignore those voices. The problem with this is that suppressing the voice and ignoring it makes it worse, much worse.
Whatever situation you find yourself in – the only way forward is to deal with those inner voices and the beliefs lying underneath. So how do we do that?
2. Acknowledge The Voice and Look For The Underlying Story
Whatever the voice is saying listen and understand it … You’ll often hear it as you’re about to put yourself out there to do something. Do these words sound familiar?:
“I’m not good enough”
“I’m not smart enough”
“I don’t have the right training”
“I can’t do this”
“I can’t figure this out”
Just listen carefully to what you are really saying. And listen out for the core themes your voice is telling you. If you are a busy, “always on the go” person you may need to go into meditation or some form of silent space to hear what you are really saying to yourself.
Listen to what it says – and I mean really listen. Listen to what its concerns and fears are. You’ll be amazed at what it says.
This is the voice that is trying to keep us safe but does it in a VERY dysfunctional way by throwing up a lot of fear and negativity.
This is a really important step – as this negative voice inside is the voice that will corrupt your dreams if you don’t deal with it.
3. Have a Conversation with The Voice
Once you’ve heard your voice’s concerns it is time to have a conversation. In this conversation, you can address the concerns and fears and soothe it. You will be amazed at how calm you’ll become as you actually have this conversation.
4. Take Your Power Back and Challenge the Voice
The fact is these fears we carry are a lot like habits. So we need to find a way of speaking back and challenging the voice when it pipes up. This might feel really different – and in complete opposition to the training, you probably received as a child. I’m not sure about you, but I was told very clearly, many times: “don’t speak back” or “don’t backchat me”.
In this instance, that training is not going to help you. In fact, I want you to do the opposite – you need to start talking back to this voice. Because this voice is damaging and insidious. It’s not helping you long term … it’s actually a voice that can take you under.
I look at the impact of that voice in my life and I cannot begin to tell you how damaging it has been to me personally and professionally. It has stopped so much good in my life.
So start speaking back to the voice about all of the great things you are and you have achieved – the ways you are good enough! It is time for you to balance the books in your favour.
If you need to, take out your journal and list all of the ways you are good enough or smart enough. Write down everything that is the opposite and keep them as evidence so when you hear the voice flare-up you can go to your list and get the facts.
The voice can be torturous – so speak back to it. Would you let others speak to your child, partner or best friend like that? No way! So become your own best friend and defend yourself.
Remind yourself of ALL of the positives you have achieved right across your life – in your business, your career and personally. Keep focused on these things.
5. Continue to Speak Back – Be There For Yourself
Quantum physics tells us that what we focus on so we will manifest. So if we have been focusing on “not good enough”, “not smart enough” or “not fast enough” that is what we will get in life.
It’s vital to keep focused on those things that we desire and choose rather than what we don’t want. So make this a regular practice – every time you hear the voice be prepared to speak back and be there for yourself!
Let me know in the comments below how you go with this little process.