Hi and welcome to this week’s episode of Your Freedom Unlimited. This week is Part Two on our series on how to change the Negative Stories You Are Telling Yourself. You can listen to Part One by visiting Episode 13 of Your Freedom Unlimited.
These episodes follow on from Episode 11 where I asked you one of the most important questions I’ve ever asked myself which was: What type of stories are you telling yourself – about yourself and your life?
Why is this important? Because the stories that we tell ourselves actually have a huge bearing on our lives. They determine whether we have a happy or difficult life. To recap on this listen to Episode 11 here.
So How Do We Change The Negative Stories We Tell Ourselves?
Last week I shared the first 5 steps which were:
- Become aware of our stories – once we know about them we can do something about them
- Understand some of the stories we are telling ourselves just don’t serve us – anytime we’re feeling fearful or not good enough it’s likely we’re telling ourself a story that doesn’t work for us
- Be kind and compassionate with yourself – beating yourself up is wasted energy
- Fully Realise You Are the Creator of Everything in Your Reality – this takes us out of victimhood and into the driver’s seat. If I created it I can change it
- Understand Everything Is Perfect and Happens Is FOR Us – again stepping us away from victimhood.
To learn more about these listen to Episode 13 here.
Here Are the Next Five steps In This Process
Step #6: Understand the Frequency Code of Your Stories
The next step is to understand every story has what I call a Frequency Code. Inside this Frequency Code are your emotions, your conditioning, your assumptions and your past experiences in relation to that story. When the right set of circumstances occurs your emotions are triggered which then trigger your actions, your behaviours and your experiences.
Typically the stories we tell ourselves are based in either fear or love. Any story that makes you feel not good in any way is generally based in fear.
Your task is to crack the baseline frequency code on any of these old fear stories and create a new one.
A key part of cracking the frequency code is to understand the learnings from your old story. Instead of throwing away your old story – what were the learnings you can get from that so that you can do things differently next time?
I remember in my 20s I was working in marketing and working with about 10 project officers to help them market and communicate their projects. On one project I worked with a much older project officer who was bringing a large international delegation into Australia for a 4 day visit to our region. After a while I realised he wanted me to manage the whole project for him. It was not my job to do that – if I spent all my time on his project I would let down my other colleagues.
So for the first time in my life – in the nicest way possible – I told him I wasn’t doing it. It did not go down well and he hauled me into a meeting room to tear strips off me. He was very angry and purposefully intimidating. Instead of crying and getting upset I held my ground, found a strong place within me and quietly told him it was not ok for him to talk to me that way.
Looking back I realise that while it was an awful experience at the time it was the best thing for me.
I realised the baseline frequency code was that I need to learn that I was worthy enough to speak my truth at work and not be walked over – and to do it in a way that was clean and personally powerful rather than from a place of anger and victimhood. I needed to crack the frequency code I’d been carrying about being a door mat.
Step #7: Consciously Create a New Story
The next step is to decide what is the new story that you want for your life? What do you choose to create? What will the frequency code of your new story be?
If we look at the work story I just shared – what was the new story I wanted to create?
It was to be great at my job and to value myself enough to explain what I could and couldn’t do. Instead of saying yes to everyone for fear of them not liking me I had to be clear about what I had time for.
I needed to know myself enough to understand what was really important to me.
This leads us to step #8.
Step #8: Tap Into Your Source Self So You Create a Story That Works for You
To create a new story that works you need to do daily work to connect with your Source, Inner or Higher Self to understand what you truly want. Often the things we think we want are not what we actually want. This is where heart-connected meditation comes in. It is vital to create a deep and connected relationship with your Inner Self so you can be very clear about what you truly want in your life.
When I work with my clients on this we spend some time here learning how to tap into their inner knowing or their source self so that they can understand what is true for them and what they need and want in their lives.
With this work they move into a completely different position in their lives – they are stronger, have a deeper sense of self worth and are more authentic in themselves – all because they are aware of the new story and the new frequency they must carry to bring that story to life.
This is vital to the success of Step #9.
Step #9: Consciously Live Your New Story
Once you have decided on your new story you need to commit to it and live it.
This is about devoting yourself daily to your new story. I use the word devotion here instead of discipline. Discipline has many bad connotations. This is about devotion to your true path and happiness.
It is about setting your intention very clearly and holding it. It is about tuning daily into the frequency that you want to hold for yourself and to practice this rather than giving way to the old fears.
There are some key frequencies or emotions that you can focus on daily to help you do this. I call these the master frequencies and I will be discussing them in future episodes.
Step #10: Deal with Fears and Limiting Beliefs Daily
Living your new story is also about dealing with the daily fears – consciously moving past them and the limiting beliefs that come up. It is daily work but the results are so worth it!!
We can start to consciously live our new story when we maintain our daily devotion to ourselves – meditating, dealing with our fears and keeping focused on our new stories and what I call the Master Frequencies that support us.
So What Story Are You Telling Yourself That You Are Going to Turn Around?
So we’ve covered five steps today on how to turn our stories around. Next week I’ll share the last few steps in this process.
For today what are the stories you’re telling yourself that you want to turn around?
Please don’t try to overhaul all your stories at once. What is one story that would make a big difference that you would like to turn around?
If you’re finding this is something you want to dig into – or need help to work out what’s going on you can contact me for a discovery call to chat about what your needs are and how we can work together.
To book your discovery call visit jenramsey.com/discovery
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And if you want some free coaching listen in …
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Stay tuned for my episode next week where I share Part Two of How to Change the Negative Stories You Are Telling Yourself.
Thank you so much for joining me today.
Please keep tuning in, there’s lots of great things coming up in the future.
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Thank you so much for your time and spending this time with me today. I look forward to talking with you soon.
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