So what happens when your world stops? What do you do when suddenly everything you thought you would do today, tomorrow, next week or next month is absolutely not possible? What would you do?
Hi everyone and welcome back. I’m sorry it’s been such a break between episodes – but I have been on a bit of an enforced sabbatical … because about seven weeks ago my world stopped.
Early in the morning in late January I was on the way to my morning yoga class (I’d just taken our dog Lucy for her walk) when I thought “I’ll just take that bin out to the street before I go to yoga”. So I put Lucy inside our garden gate and pivoted really quickly on my left foot to go toward the bin … next thing you know I was lying flat out on our concrete driveway in some of the most severe pain I’d ever experienced in my life.
We’d had rain over the few days before and I had slipped in some sand and dirt that had collected the bottom of our driveway. It felt like my feet had been swept out from underneath for me and let me tell you, my left hip and elbow did not make friends with the concrete. It was bad. I could not move one muscle without excruciating pain.
The next half or so was a blur as help from my neighbours, family and the ambulance came. I spent the rest of the day in hospital emergency only to find out I had fractured my pelvis in two places and broken and torn tendons away from my elbow.
I had surgery on my elbow two days later and left the hospital nine days later … only when I was able to walk again. I didn’t have surgery on my pelvis as it was what is called a “stable fracture.” I’m so grateful to my amazing doctor and the nurses who cared for me … especially in these Covid times.
This week is six weeks since it happened so I felt I really wanted to say hello and share about what can happen when our comfortable western life as we know it stops in a flash. What do we do and what can we learn?
There Are No Such Things As Accidents
I believe there are no such things as accidents and I also strongly believe everything happens for us – not to us – so I’ve really taken some time to consider what happened and to think about what I can take from this situation.
Before I go on I also have to say I’m really, really grateful that no one else was physically involved, hurt or injured as a result of this. It did take a toll on my husband, family and friends but at least there was no physical impact on anyone else!
So as I’ve been recovering over the last few weeks I’ve been contemplating what this accident was all about, why it happened now and what learnings I could take from it.
Why did the accident happen now?
I feel the accident ultimately was about me slowing down and taking time out from my normal routine of “doing, doing, doing” so I could drop more into a space of being so I could really contemplate how I’m living my life.
Even though I’ve been trying to slow down – this was the Universe’s very official STOP sign!
When you cannot walk and you only have the use of one hand your world slows down … ALOT. You have to stop and take stock and receive … because there is nothing you can do.
I’m still in the contemplation zone right now and I promise I’ll share more with you as I go but this really has been an opportunity to take real stock.
What are some of my lessons so far?
There are so many lessons to come from this but some of the big takeouts for me so far include:
1. Choosing My Response
The first lesson was about choosing my response to what happened. I have to say that everything I’ve spoken about on this podcast in the last couple of years – about choosing your response and managing your frequency and vibration – absolutely had to come to the fore when this accident happened. It was a huge shock for me and for my family and friends – none of us could believe the pain and the extent of my injuries from such a ‘simple’ turn of events.
So I had to choose HOW I was going to handle the situation. I could have chosen anger at myself, the rain, the driveway or the bin or I could choose another path … to be accepting and allowing of what happened and that leads me to lesson #2.
2. Accepting and Allowing
The power of the frequency of accepting and allowing of what is right now has been a huge gift for me in all of this. As when the accident happened I had many plans that, like me, were flattened in an instant.
That very morning I was off to my yoga studio to promote my next women’s retreat. I had alot of work on in my business and plans to help my sister-in-law move into her new home.
All of that of course was thrown out the window when the accident happened.
So I had a choice in the moment. I could have really berated myself and told myself I was an idiot for allowing something like this to happen or I could really step into the frequency of fully accepting what had happened and allowing what was.
As I said earlier these are things I’ve spoken a lot about on this podcast and I really have had to live my philosophy over the last few weeks. While I’ve had a few difficult moments (which I’ll share more about in the next episode) my approach of allowing and accepting has worked.
I can see how me accepting what had happened rather than fighting against it and getting angry has helped my recovery.
My physiotherapist, my surgeon and my hand therapist – yes I’ve had three people looking after me – have all said they can’t believe the speed of my recovery. I believe a big part of this has been my choice to be positive and my focus on accepting what’s happened rather than fighting against it.
If you want to know more about this idea of accepting and allowing listen to Episode 21 of this podcast.
The third lesson of course has been patience. Patience for me has been a lifelong journey and situations often pop up to give me a gentle reminder … or in this case a not-so-gentle reminder … to be patient.
In this situation, patience was vital because I was really sick in the hospital, and there was literally nothing I could do to “get away”. I couldn’t walk and they would not let me out of bed for three days until my pelvis stabilised so there was not a thing I could do … except to choose patience.
I realised that if I created a lot of frustration, fear, anger or resistance about what was going on it was only going to make things worse. So I really did step into the space of patience and I’m so glad that I did because it’s actually made my healing journey so much easier.
One of the other beautiful lessons I learnt again was about gratitude. The frequency of gratitude is something I have spoken a lot about on this podcast and I have to say that gratitude was is definitely something that has been absolutely top of mind for me during this whole experience.
Why … because this could have been so much worse. My friend Karen from the US pointed this out to me very clearly on a late night call I had with her in the hospital when I could not sleep. I could so easily have done so much more damage to myself, I could have hit my head badly or injured my back. I am so lucky this is all that happened.
And I have to say that thought has really carried me through. I see myself as a really lucky person … as this could have been so much worse.
I’m also incredibly grateful for the love and support from my family, friends and people far and wide. The outpouring of love has been amazing … like my friend Kim who came daily to hospital to see me and my nephew and his partner travelling from Melbourne to stay with us for two weeks to help look after me at home. Because when I got home I couldn’t walk very far, I could not even get a drink of water, let alone a meal or shower myself. I needed care and it really helped lessen the load on my husband.
The support and love of my family and friends is just being incredible and was an absolute demonstration of how supported I am and just how much people love me. I feel really, really grateful for that lesson.
Another incredible lesson in all of this has been to learn to truly receive. This is something I probably haven’t been very good at in my life. I’ve been good at helping others but the idea of me truly receiving has been a very interesting journey.
So for quite a few weeks, I had to sit squarely in the receiving seat. When you cannot wash yourself, go to the toilet on your own or get a glass of water for yourself you have to practice receiving.
I’m now pretty much self-sufficient and I can see now how receiving all of the support in the last 6 weeks has taught me how to openly receive without feeling I have to “do” something in return.
It taught me a valuable lesson about the idea of relationships being transactional versus the idea of being in a supportive relationship with others … where we are supported regardless of what we do for that particular person who may be helping us.
In turn this has been an incredible analogy for the idea of living in a supportive, abundant universe. When we take right action in our lives we will receive support from wherever we need it rather than expecting it to come from a particular person that we have done something for. Also there is an abundance of support available to us … if we are open to it.
6. Taking Action Despite Your Fear
The final lesson I learnt, which I want to talk about more in the next episode, is about stepping forward and taking action despite my fear.
This lesson really came home for me when it came time for me to walk again on my left leg each step was literally excruciating. But if I wanted to recover I had to take a step forward … despite the pain I was feeling.
My physio was very clear I had to get mobile and to do that I had to put weight on my leg. If you’ve ever experienced an injury like this you know your mind will do anything it can to protect itself from pain. It’s a natural, subconscious response .. but not one that was going to work if I wanted to walk confidently again or get back to yoga.
So I have had to literally move forward despite the pain and the fear of the pain.
I’m still in this process now with my elbow. I still have to do exercises every day that cause a moderate amount of pain in my elbow but this is the only way I will get full use of my elbow back and get back to yoga.
Until Next Time
So these are just a few of the lessons I’ve learnt in the last 6 weeks. I’m sure in 12 months’ time there will be many more. For now, I’m grateful for what I’ve learned and where it has taken me so far.
In my next episode, I’ll share more about some of my learnings around dealing with fear and anxiety. Because my good old friend’s anxiety did pop up in this situation … what was interesting was how I dealt with it.
This accident was a chance for me to look at anxiety in a new light so that I could really understand it and deal with it in a more compassionate and loving way. So until next time take great care and lots of love!!
Over To You
As ever now on this podcast, it’s over to you.
I’d love you to see how you go with these ideas and let me know in the comments to the blog. I’d also love to wish you the most incredible Christmas and holiday season with lots of relaxation and connection.
I’m also sending you love for an amazing 2022. Once you’ve used these tips please share with me your resolutions and what you’ve got in store for 22.
And before I go please take a moment to rate and review this podcast. Every rating helps more people find us here.
Until we speak again take great care and lots of love