Part Two in our Series on Setting Intentions 2021
Once Christmas is over New Year’s resolutions can be top of mind for all of us. But do they work and are they even good for us? Can they set us up for failure? And are they dangerous?
Research shows about 50% of us set New Year’s Resolutions but less than 10% of us manage to keep them for longer than a few months. What’s going on here and is there a better way?
Hi everyone, welcome to this week’s episode of Your Freedom Unlimited with me Jen Ramsey. I’m so pleased you are here. Today is Part Two in our series on Setting Intentions 2021. To listen to part one visit Episode 38 of this podcast.
Why Don’t New Year’s Resolutions Work and What Can We Do About it?
Today is all about new year’s resolutions – and my view that they can be dangerous. I know it’s a big call but I think when they are set in the traditional way they are not good for us. Today I’m declaring a revolution on resolutions – there has to be a better way if so few of us are able to keep them.
Before I share with you my revolutionary ideas on new year’s resolutions let me share with you five reasons I think new year’s resolutions – as they are traditionally set –can be dangerous:
#1: We Can Set Too Many New Year’s Resolutions
Research shows that we often will set resolutions across too many areas of our lives – and we don’t have the physical, emotional or spiritual energy to make them happen. So if we’ve got too many resolutions or goals this can become really overwhelming.
And when we feel overwhelmed, we can tend not to take any action at all. I know that is what happens for me. Then the next thing you know, the resolution has fallen on its head and we’re back where we started.
#2: The Inner Critic Steps In and We Can Beat Ourselves Up
The second reason new year’s resolutions can be dangerous, is that when we don’t achieve our resolutions we can beat ourselves up. The inner critic can step in. This can create a very negative thought process and cycle inside ourselves. We can say to ourselves if we haven’t achieved those resolutions last year why should I try again this year? It’s a vicious cycle that sets us up for failure, rather than success.
While I think these first two reasons are good reasons as to why resolutions don’t work I believe there are three more that are even more important.
#3: We Think We Need Fixing
The third reason I think news resolutions can be dangerous, is that they are based on the platform of belief that we need fixing. This is a big one related to the fundamental belief in our society that we must always be improving ourselves in some way. That where we are is not good enough. That we are fundamentally flawed and we must aim to be perfect.
All of this comes from a fear-based model of life. And this is really bad for our mental health.
What if right now we could see ourselves as perfect as we are?
What if we could accept ourselves exactly as we are right now? What sort of base would that be to work from in 2021?
What if we actually looked at what we have done well, and how we could build upon that?
#4 New Year’s Resolutions are Dangerous When They Are Not Connected to What We Truly Want
New Year’s Resolutions not connected to our inner most desires and what we want in our heart of hearts are truly dangerous.
Because they keep us on the hamster wheel of our lives. We set resolutions for things we think will make us happy, e.g. when I get that new job, or when I buy that house or car.
But how many times do we do achieve those things but our old energy and vibration follows us – and we’re still not happy. We’re back on the same old hamster wheel maybe with just a different colour – but all of the old feelings of angst, or fatigue or worry are still there. I’ve heard this so many times from my clients.
Another common trap in this space is to set a resolution to meet someone else’s expectations rather than our own.
Have you ever found yourself setting a goal to please your partner, your kids or your parents? I know I have done this.
A final trap in this space is when we set goals that are externally motivated rather than internally motivated.
So for example, a resolution to get fit to lose weight so that I can look good for people on the outside versus I’m getting fit to feel strong enough to be a yoga teacher to improve my energy and my sleep. I’ve never made a resolution to get fit to look good but I did make a resolution this year to get fitter and stronger to do my yoga teacher training.
#5: The Resolution Is So Tightly Focused We Miss the Inspiration
The fifth reason new year’s resolutions can be very dangerous is that they can become so tightly focused on a particular thing that we miss all of the inspired opportunities and ideas along the way.
This gets back to the idea that as human beings we are living in a quantum soup of potentiality. There are literally thousands of potential options and opportunities coming our way every single day. Whether we take them on is based on our beliefs about ourselves – limiting or expansive, and what we are literally thinking about and focused on in the moment. When we get too tightly focused on something, we can miss all of the ideas or the little inspirations that are coming our way.
So What Do We Do About All Of This?
I want to share with you my special process that I now do every year that has made all the difference to the year ahead. I call it my New Year Revolution process.
All you need to do is visit jenramsey.com/revolution and you’ll get access to my New Year Revolution worksheet geared to helping you do a review that will revolutionise your approach to setting new year’s resolutions.
Once you have it, create a quiet space for an hour, light a candle and grab a cup of tea and spend some time journaling your responses. Come back to it over a couple of days and you’ll be amazed at what comes up for you.
What is Different About My Review Process?
Like changing the lens of your camera you will be changing the lens of your review. Instead of focusing on what didn’t work – you’ll be focused on what worked well in 2020. It is easy to focus on the negative that is what our brains are wired up for us to do.
You’ll also take some time to understand what you truly want.
I’ll be showing you how to set intentions rather than goals and explaining why your frequency is so important.
I’m going to speak about this more in next week’s episode but these last two strategies are a great way to reduce the stress and increase your success rate.
Take advantage of my New Year Revolution worksheet so you can approach this whole process from a different perspective. To get it visit jenramsey.com/revolution
Over to You
As ever on Your Freedom Unlimited it is over to you. To take advantage of this free process visit jenramsey.com/revolution.
Thanks so much for spending your time with me today. I’m sending you lots of love for a wonderful new year.