Have you ever struggled with making hard decisions? It could be deciding to leave your secure, well-paid job to start a new business, it could be changing careers, starting a new relationship, leaving a relationship, deciding on medical treatment, moving to a new city, or buying a new home.
Big life decisions like these are some of the hardest things that any of us can do – because they are just that – they are big, and they feel big. So this week I’m excited to be sharing with you 7 steps to making hard decisions easier. How? By tapping into your own intuition and inner knowing – your own innate power.
Making hard decisions has been top of mind for me lately as I live in Australia where there is a big debate right now about whether or not to have a Covid-19 vaccine. There is a lot of discussion in our media and in our community – with a lot of for and against information out there. It’s become very polarizing … and fear-based on both sides of the argument. It’s causing a lot of pressure and anxiety for some people as they work out what’s best for them personally.
How to Make Hard Decisions Easier
So this week I wanted to share with you how to make hard decisions in 7 simple steps. This process taps into your inner wisdom – and will help you step clearly away from fear. It has really helped me make hard decisions by helping me connect to the truth of my higher self – and my innate power.
This episode is for anyone who struggles with how to make a hard decision and is especially useful for anyone sensitive or who may experience high functioning anxiety. How do I know? Because I’ve travelled that road and I know how much easier, and gentler, this inspired approach is … after what feels like a lifetime of finding it hard to make good decisions.
Looking back I can see how my fear – through my high functioning anxiety – corrupted my decision-making process. There are some decisions I’ve made that I would love to go back and change. The fact is that I can’t but what I can do is to make much more inspired decisions now. Frankly, these are the tips I really wish I had a long time ago. So what are they?
1. Be in a Place of Love not Fear
To make a good decision we need to be in the emotional frequency of love, not fear. What I mean here is we need to feel aligned and calm, not frenzied and stressed.
If we have lots of self-talk whirling around our head that’s worried about how the decision will turn out in the future, or what people around us will say or do when they hear our decision – then we’re in the wrong energy to be making a decision.
As you know on this podcast I’m always talking about choosing your story and perspective – and here I am again!! If I sound a bit like a broken record it’s because this is such a fundamental part of living a happy life … and making good decisions.
So this first step is very simple – we need to understand that if we’re going to make a good decision we need to get a place of feeling calm and aligned.
How? I’ll talk more about this in Steps #4 and #5.
2. Understand You Are the Creator of Your Reality So Your Decision Will Be the Right One
If you’re new to this podcast this may sound a little out there but if we subscribe to the concept that we are the creators of our reality – rather than a victim to it – and that everything that happens is for us as a way to learn and expand – then it means any decision we make is a good one.
For me, this construct takes a huge amount of pressure off – because it means whatever I decide, it will ultimately be ok. There will be something in it for me.
In this space making a decision actually becomes exciting!!!
3. Be Honest About What You Really Want
This is a time to be really honest about what you really want. If you’re struggling to make a decision right now, or you suspect you’re making a decision to please, or that will look good to others, or alleviate short-term anxiety, chances are it’s time to dig deeper. To look at what you really want!
An example of this may be going for a promotion when you’d really like to start your own business. In this instance, the promotion may look good to others because it will bring more prestige and more money. For you, it may also alleviate short-term anxiety about money. But if you really have a dream of starting your own business then the decision to take a promotion will never bring you the fulfillment you’re really looking for. It will feel good for a short time but then as reality sets in it will start to feel hollow.
If you’re struggling to make a decision it’s vital to tune into your body’s wisdom. This is a technique I use often to make quick decisions and I also use it to check on bigger decisions.
How do you tune into your body’s wisdom? Simply create a quiet space, take some calming breaths in and out and ask yourself: “What does it feel like in my body when I think of Option A? What does it feel like in my body when I think of Option B?”
Your body will give you an answer.
If neither feels good it’s vital to dig even deeper – maybe there’s something else entirely that you want but you’ve not let yourself think about it!
4. Create The Space to Make a Decision
If you’ve struggled with making decisions this is the step for you.
I know for many years I thought making a decision was about thinking about the matter while I was going about daily life. All that looked like was a lot of random thoughts buzzing around my head like moths around a light on a hot summer’s night. Over time the thoughts got more and more overwhelming and no decision was made.
The key to making a good decision is to dedicate time and energy to making the decision.
This is also vital if there is a pressure cooker environment around the decision. This could look like a deadline to make the decision, or other people around with strong views, or maybe you feel tired but you have to make the decision anyway.
Any or all of these things can raise the stakes and you may feel pressured to act in a certain way.
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
Albert Einstein
If you’re tired or feeling rushed or pressured by others take time out – on your own. I’ve learned the hard way the best way to make a great decision is to create the space for your decision.
So now it’s time for step #5.
5. Meditate and Listen for the Answer
This is the step where we really step in to listen to our inner wisdom and intuition.
Meditation, which is such a powerful tool, is amazing to help you make hard decisions.
In this instance, I’m talking about creating a calm meditative state that will allow you to tap into your higher self and intuition.
To do this take your pen and journal and a glass of water and find a quiet space. Then do a short breath-based meditation to calm your system down and connect with your higher self or guides.
If you haven’t meditated before and would like some help with this click here to access my How to Meditate For Beginners Guide. It has a couple of really simple guided meditations that will help you connect with your breath and calm your system down.
When you feel you are calm and connected simply ask for guidance on your decision. Some simple questions to ask are:
“Please give me guidance on XYZ”
“What is the best outcome for me in this situation?
“How can I …”
Then allow any thoughts, images, or feelings that arise to flow to you. The key is to remain still within yourself and trust what arises knowing you’re in a space of connection with your higher self. Continue breathing calmly and allow all messages to arise. The beauty of this step is to understand that whatever comes up is inspired by your higher self.
If you’re looking for more insight you could ask:
“How does this decision bring more love into my life?”
“How does this decision help me live my purpose?”
The responses you get to these two powerful questions will be invaluable as you take action on your decision.
Once you feel you have received these messages thank your Higher Self and Source for their support.
Then journal down all of the images and messages you received so you can refer to them later. I find this is a great way to reinforce and remember the guidance I’ve received.
6. Act on Your Decision
A decision is not a decision until action is taken. Until the action is taken the decision remains an idea.
If the idea of acting on the decision feels overwhelming or brings up a little fear for you, write down the first three steps you can take. You don’t need to look any further ahead than that.
If the first three steps are not clear go back into meditation to get more guidance. This really is a process of tapping into your inner wisdom for guidance. And let me tell you it really works.
A simple plan is all you need to take action. It could be to have a conversation with your boss or your partner. It could be to do some research to find out new options for social media and then shortlist three social media managers for an interview.
7. Affirm Your Decision
This step is a step that no one talks about – and it is gold. This step is about affirming your decision and it’s really valuable for anyone dealing with self-doubt, second-guessing themselves, or anxiety.
What do I mean by affirming the decision? I mean regularly repeating to yourself that the decision was a good one and giving yourself concrete reasons as to why as you are acting on the decision.
Things you might affirm are:
- “This is a good decision”
- “This experience is going to be a great experience”
- “I’ll make this experience easy and effortless”
- “I’m going to enjoy every moment of …”
- “My decisions help me expand and grow”
You know I’m really a neuroscience nerd so here we’re working to deal with the negative bias of the brain. We are turning down the self-doubt dial and turning up the positive emotions around our decision.
From a quantum science perspective, we are also keeping your energy and vibration around the decision high.
I’ve found this is a really important thing to do particularly if there is a time-lapse between when you make this decision and when you follow through.
So How Did I Use These Steps in Relation to Getting the Covid-19 Vaccine?
So you might be wondering how I’ve used these steps? I’ve used them in just the last couple of weeks in relation to the covid-19 vaccination. Let me be very clear here – I see this as a very personal decision and I respect each person’s choice 100%.
As I said earlier there has been a huge amount of debate in Australia on this. As you may know, I come from the perspective of always living as naturally as possible, eating as much raw and unprocessed foods, and living cleanly. I’m a yoga teacher and meditate daily to deepen my connection to the Source.
So for me, this was a very difficult decision because I could hear so clearly the arguments of both sides of the debate.
What I also heard was a lot of fear, anger, and judgment – from both sides – in the media, on social media, and in personal conversations.
There was so much swirling around that I realised I needed to do step #1 – to step in a place of love, not fear, and to remember Step #2 – that I’m the creator of my reality.
In this space, I saw of course that this whole debate was another opportunity for me to see if I was going to walk my talk. Was I going to live my personal philosophy that I am the leader and creator of my reality or was I going to let the fear swirling in the collective consciousness knock me off my path into victimhood?
Then came Step #3 – It was vital for me to be honest about how I really felt about what I saw around me. While I heard the debates about vaccine safety, what I saw around me was a lot of people feeling trapped by lockdowns, small businesses suffering and elderly or vulnerable people who cannot go out of their homes. I also saw a country of people not able to travel when the rest of the world is starting to open up. This feeling of entrapment is the polar opposite of what I hold most dear in my life which is freedom.
In Step #3 I also had to be honest about how I would feel if some of my friends from different communities with different views were to judge me. “What other people will think about me” was something I had to seriously consider.
So onto steps #4 and #5. I created the space and meditated on this issue to connect with my Higher Self and Source about this. I really went inside to listen to what was most important to me and I asked how my decision would bring more love into my life. It became very clear that the decision to get the vaccine for me personally was around personal freedom
So I acted on the decision (Step #6) and affirmed my decision (Step #7). There was a time-lapse between deciding to get the Covid-19 vaccine to receiving an appointment.
In that “in-between time”, when I know my self-doubt girl can kick into action, I focused on affirming why the decision was a good one for me.
At the same time, I really affirmed that my body is extremely healthy and happy and absolutely fine to receive the vaccine. I did not let the fear in. I made a decision that I would see the vaccine as a support and not a hindrance to my long-term health.
If you listen to the podcast for a while you know how clear I am about being very careful of the stories you tell yourself. In this instance, I had to be extra careful of the story I told myself. I told myself I was strong and full of love – even as I received the injection and I also did not listen to the discussion about side effects from the nurse. I’m also reminding myself that if I do have any side effects there is something in it for me.
So I just want to reiterate here that I do believe the vaccine is an extremely personal decision for each person to make.
The key message I do want to share with you is that for big decisions like these – which are surrounded by fear in the community – it is vital for each of us to go inside and focus on our own inner wisdom rather than be caught up in all of the external chatter. For us to create a story for ourselves that supports our highest good rather than undermines us and tears us down.
For more on being aware of the stories you tell yourself you can listen to episode 11 here about the impact of the stories, you tell yourself on your life.
Over To You
As ever in this podcast this is the time when you can take on board these steps on how to make a hard decision and use them in your own life.
For anyone listening who wants to go to the next level, there is also an 8th step I want to share with you … any self-doubts you experience around a decision are incredible clues to limiting beliefs that may be lurking around in your subconscious. The even better news is that there is a very simple way to process those limiting beliefs so you can turn the roar of self-doubt in your ear down to a whisper.
This is a really great way to step even more deeply into your innate power. When you deal with these beliefs you’ll feel even better and stronger and more powerful within yourself.
So if you want some help in that space, or with any of the steps I’ve outlined today DM me on Instagram @jenramseyfreedom or email me at hello@jenramsey.com I would love to hear how you are going with making better decisions using these heart-centered techniques.
Also if you are enjoying this podcast please pass this episode onto friends and give it a rating and review in Apple Podcasts. Your reviews really do help more people find the show.
Until we speak again I’m sending you lots of love
Jen
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