Christmas blues is definitely a thing – in the US around 14,800 people/month search this term in the last part of the year. So if you’re feeling a bit down about Christmas you are not alone. For people experiencing grief, loss, loneliness or financial hardship Christmas can be difficult. Even if you’re not experiencing these things it can be hard.
If you’re not feeling good it can be even tougher with the barrage of Christmas advertising, decorations, and carols playing in almost every shop in the country. Not to mention community expectations that because it’s Christmas we “should” be full of holiday cheer.
The Christmas blues can also completely take you by surprise. Last night – right out of nowhere – I had an attack.
You see Christmas is not quite the way I thought it would be as I have not been able to have kids of my own.
And this year I lost my mother.
So last night I unexpectedly went into a pretty deep, dark well of despair.
I went places I have not gone in years. All the while knowing that going into that deep well was not going to serve me, or anyone around me.
But my hurt, sad self went anyway. It was tough on me and even tougher on my husband and our dog.
After what seemed like an eternity… but really was a bit over an hour… I started coming out of it.
How To Turn The Christmas Blues Around
How did I turn the Christmas blues around?
I realised that if I truly am I who I say I am – that I create my own reality – ALL OF IT.
And if I truly believe in my ability to manifest my own freedom …. WHICH I DO, then I have an opportunity… scratch that obligation … to rescript the story I tell myself around Christmas.
NOTE: If you are experiencing severe Christmas blues please reach out to a qualified support/counseling service. In Australia call Lifeline on 13 11 44 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au/
So What Does Rescripting Your Christmas Story Look Like?
What I am about to share maybe a little different from what you might expect … but bear with me… you may find something you can try on for size.
1. Fully own that you create your own reality
I’ve spoken and written about this before, but in times like this … when you find yourself in that cold pit of remorse – this is when the rubber really hits the road.
My belief is that we do create our own reality. Pre-birth we set particular intentions to explore and expand during our lifetime. We set up experiences that will help us grow to see who we really are (note expansion is not always fun … it is about growth).
So my first step is to own that, at some level, I created the situation I find myself in.
2. Understand everything is for you
This is an extension of Step #1 and tells us that there is some growth to be gained from whatever we are facing in the present moment.
This may ring a bell with you as you look back at tough experiences in your own life and, in hindsight, you can see how they have grown you.
So in step #2 get curious and ask yourself what is there in this for me?
In this instance… I asked myself what was for me in this deep sadness about Christmas? I had three pretty major AHA moments:
AHA Moment #1 – My worth is not reliant on what/how or with whom I spend my Christmas Day.
Christmas is not a report card which delivers a pass or a fail – based on what one day of the year looks like.
My worth is inside me – it does not come from how my life looks on the outside.
AHA Moment #2 – My life without children is about exploring freedom at a different level. Until now I have probably pushed this thought away due to my limiting beliefs about not being a mother. I have not allowed myself to truly embrace this sort of freedom.
AHA Moment #3 – When I was deeply in my despair last night I finally heard a different dialogue. I heard my inner child speaking. She desperately wanted to be heard and acknowledged in this space. I have not listened to her, or acknowledged her, in any way on this issue at all. I have not taken the time to have that priceless dialogue with her to understand exactly why Christmas blues are a thing for her.
Time for me to have a chat and understand how to help her feel safer and happier at this time of year!
3. Re-script your Christmas story
This step is gold but can really only be done once we have fully done step #2.
Over the years to deal with the Christmas blues I have tried to rescript this story but I’ve done it grudgingly. I’ve dug my toes in and gritted my teeth during the festive season. I’ve put on a “happy” face while feeling pretty miserable inside.
But on the inside I have created a living hell in my mind about what should be, and what I didn’t have (my own family), rather than what I had.
I’ve managed to get through each Christmas but because of my old script the personal cost to me has been high.
So this year I’m truly rescripting my story. I’m detaching from the external story of “how a happy Christmas day should look” and stepping back to create a day that is happy and joyful on the inside – not reliant on who is there or not, or what is going on.
The fact is I have always been fortunate to be surrounded by close family and friends. And this year my usual Christmas travel will be reduced as my Dad will come to us for the first time in a few years.
So my new script for Christmas this year is about intrinsic joy and gratitude and not trying to force something that is simply not there.
It is about acceptance and grace.
It will be less about the outside and more about the inside. I’ll be creating some space within to really connect to myself with gratitude and joy.
The difference is in how I will be approaching this inside my own head.
Share with me how you deal with Christmas blues in the comments to this article. I’d love to hear from you.
If you are experiencing severe Christmas blues please reach out to your therapist or local crisis support/counseling service. In Australia call Lifeline on 13 11 44 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au/
Who is Jen Ramsey?
If you’re ready to tap into your inner freedom and personal power join me. I’ll help you let go of any self-doubt and manifest more freedom – in life and business – so you can shine. You’ll find your purpose, path, and voice and have someone in your corner absolutely committed to your success.
Along the way, you’ll create a deeper connection to yourself, your intuition and your ability to create exactly what you want in your life.
You see I know what it’s like to feel stuck in fear, dissatisfied with your life but not sure which way to turn or what to do. While I worked for years as a successful corporate advisor and business owner I battled an invisible and insidious adversary – anxiety. Today I’m on the other side of that battle and am an advocate for anyone ready to step away from the grip of self-doubt into their freedom and personal power.
I’ll help you let go of your fears so you can finally say yes to you and your long-held dreams. To do this you can work with me 1:1, in group coaching or at one of my events. To learn more click here or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.