Self-worth – why is it so fundamental to a happy life – yet why is it so elusive for so many of us? What can we do to build a powerful sense of self-worth and confidence inside us? And how can we fast-track this process?
Hi everyone and welcome to this week’s episode of Your Freedom Unlimited. Thank you for spending your time with me.
This week we are focusing on another one of our master frequencies and this one is a BIG one – I’m talking today about the frequency of worthiness or self-worth.
This is something I struggled with for a very long time in my life, and when I speak to so many friends, clients and colleagues I hear the same story time and time again. Self worth is like this holy grail that so many of us aspire to – yet can’t seem to embody.
It’s like this elusive, intangible feeling that we know will be amazing when we get there but somehow, just like a rainbow, it always seems out of reach.
What do I mean when I say self worth? I’m talking about that deep internal sense of knowing that, without doubt, you are a magnificent, unique, valuable and whole human being worthy of love and respect no matter what, and regardless of your external successes or material worth.
In short my definition of self worth is when you feel, and know deep in your heart you are strong and amazing just as you are right here, right now – regardless of the outside circumstances.
This is about feeling grounded, assured and centred inside yourself – knowing that no matter what you will be ok!
For me this frequency was one of the most elusive but when I stepped into it everything changed.
Why because our level of self-worth determines the vibration and energy we put into the world… and the energy and vibration we put into the world directly correlates with the results we get back.
When I really got this it was like I had plugged myself into the power of the sun or the strongest battery you can imagine. If you can imagine a highrise building going from a few lights on to every single light in the building blazing that is how I felt.
So what changed for me when I really stepped into my self-worth?
- I dropped my anxiety and crippling self-doubt – no longer was I thinking I was not good enough – I dropped the wasted energy and critical self talk of my nasty inner girl and felt deeply connected to myself
- I found my voice – I started speaking authentically about what I truly believed in wherever I was … be it with clients or at parties
- I connected more deeply with people – my conversations became more meaningful and powerful
- My relationships – became way deeper, more intimate and more connected
- My work – I got bigger and better breakthroughs with my clients
- My business – my income jumped significantly
- My dreams – I started taking action on what was most important to me. I felt like yes I can do this!
- I felt free and happy – all of things I had so craved in my life were happening because I felt worthy of it.
What was most interesting was that people I barely knew started to comment on my positive personal energy and optimism when I was just going about my normal business.
So my question right now for you is:
On a scale of one to 10, how worthy do you feel, one being not worthy at all, 10 being super worthy of anything that you want in your life?
Please be honest with yourself on this but please do not beat yourself up. Wherever you are is great. One thing I know for sure is that I’m still working towards that 10 but I’ve come a long way from the 2 I rated myself a few years ago.
You Have Got This – You Can Start Building Your Self-Worth Today
And I want to tell you right now you CAN build your self worth. It is completely doable! You are not on your own! There are steps you can take to do this and I’m going to share some of them today.
In fact that is part of the inspiration for today’s episode. A friend of mine told me she’d been to a healer who told her she had issues with worthiness. When my friend asked the healer how to feel more worthy the healer said she needed to work that out for herself.
Uh oh … yes it is something that we need to arrive at ourselves … but there are some very practical things we can do to fast-track that process and that’s what I wanted to share with you today so you can grow a strong sense of worthiness within yourself.
Before we go to those steps let’s just talk about why this is such an elusive concept.
Why Is Self-Worth So Elusive?
Self-worth is elusive because we take on a lot of the fear-based conditioning and stories that we are told by our parents, the media and society growing up. We’ve been conditioned by our society from when we’re very young.
Why were we told those stories?
To keep us safe. We learnt from very young that if we conformed and behaved in a certain way in society then we would be safe.
I had a wonderful upbringing. I had wonderful parents who loved me dearly, but it was the conditioning that came around me at that time of growing up that seemed to undermine my sense of self worth. And that conditioning came from many places and from the things I observed – like my parents’ behaviour, what I heard at school, church and from the media.
In Australia one of the big things we deal with is “the tall poppy syndrome”. There’s a saying “you can’t get “too big for your boots” or someone will come along and knock you over.
I know I’m always saying that if we are creator of our reality we should not let these things bother us – but as a child that belief was not on my radar at the time. Fortunately it is now.
That’s one of the reasons that I’ve been really committed to doing this podcast because to me, when we feel worthy, when we feel we’ve got that strong and solid sense of self worth within us, then we will feel free to do the things that we really, really truly want to do. What an incredible place to be when we feel that we can do anything.
How to Build A Strong Sense of Self-Worth
So how do we build a strong sense of self-worth? What do we need to do? If you know me you know I like practical strategies that work. Here are four steps to help you step into your self-worth now:
Step #1 – Step into the idea that you are a worthy human being
This is the starting point. Let’s talk to your logical brain with some facts. To be born into this life is a sign of your worthiness. The true miracle of conception is a powerful indicator of your worth. You are the one who made it through – out of the hundred million sperm from your father one made it through to meet your mother’s egg. The fact you made it through this process is for me a good enough reason to feel worthy.
Then think about the love given to a new born baby. Does a newborn baby need to do anything to receive love? No. They are completely worthy just as they are.
Think of any babies you know or have in your life – maybe your children, nieces, nephews or friends’ babies. As soon as this new baby comes into our life we suddenly find this whole new space in our heart to love them – all because of their presence. There is nothing else the baby, or we need, to do – we just love them for who they are exactly in the moment.
So it’s really, really important to understand that from that moment of conception, and then being an actual baby, we are worthy.
What confuses all of this is our societal conditioning.
There is a story my beautiful friend Fabienne told me recently of the Golden Buddha discovered in Thailand in 1957. That year a monastery was being relocated. In this process the monks needed to move a giant clay Buddha when one of them saw a large crack in the clay. When they looked more closely they saw a light coming from the crack. When they started to chip away at the clay they found the Buddha was made of solid gold.
It’s believed the Buddha was covered with clay hundreds of years earlier to protect it from an attack. In the attack, the monks were killed so no-one could pass on the story.
The clay on that Buddha is just like the conditioning we take on board over time. By focusing on our self-worth we can take the layers of mud off, and discover our gold underneath.
We just need to understand there is gold underneath and all we need to do is to take off those layers of mud that no longer serve us.
For me the most compelling reason for our worthiness is because we are part of Source. In Episode 4 I spoke about remembering who we truly are – that we are connected to Source Consciousness. If that is the case – then we are truly unlimited and magnificent. To be a part of Source we have to be worthy.
So here are a few thoughts on why I believe we are worthy. So if you can try on these ideas for size you’ll be taking a HUGE step toward developing your self worth.
Step #2 – Listen to the stories you are telling yourself
As I said earlier worthiness has been a big journey for me. I remember when I was 19 at uni, hanging out with different friends, I always made myself less than other people. I was always comparing myself and thinking I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, funny enough – the list went on and on.
As a constant ruminator I would go to bed with these thoughts, I would wake up with and fill alot of the time in between with these thoughts. It was so ingrained I just thought that’s how life is and I didn’t know any different.
The point here is that the stories that we tell ourselves are powerful and can be dangerous.
So, key to all of this is to really listen to the thoughts that you’re thinking so you can understand what you’re saying to yourself over and over again.
It is vital to understand that you are in charge of the stories that you tell yourself and the story of not good enough, is one that really undermines that sense of worthiness.
If you want to hear more on this listen to Episode 11 where I talk more about the power of the stories that we tell ourselves.
Step #3 – Worthiness is a Belief and a Decision
The next step is to realise that self-worth is a belief and a decision.
Self-worth is a belief. Just as I can believe that I’m not worthy. I can believe I am worthy.
How do we change a belief? We make a decision. You have the choice to be worthy. It’s your decision to step into this.
For a long time I thought that something, or someone, outside of me would make me feel worthy.
You know those thoughts … I’ll be worthy when ….
- I win an award
- Someone tells me I’ve done a good job
- My partner validates me for something
- I meet the right partner
- I make a certain amount of money
- I get that promotion
- I start my business
- I’m successful in my business
- I’ve got a certain amount of followers on social media
- My child is successful
- I travel somewhere exotic
- I live somewhere else more exciting…
… then I’ll somehow feel worthy.
The fact is you’re the one who makes the decision to feel worthy.
It was such a breakthrough for me when I realised no-one else was going to come along and pin a badge on me and say Jen Ramsey, you are worthy.
It had to come from inside me – from a place deep within my heart and soul.
Step #4 – Live Worthy
Once you’ve made your decision it’s about living your life from that place of worthiness. This is a 24/seven practice of living your worth, and dealing with your limiting beliefs about your worth. It’s not something that we just do once and then we don’t come back to it.
This is where I help my clients the most in this space – I show them over time how to really step into their worthiness and their Source power and to let go of their old stories and to use these master frequencies so they can really live the life they want to live. Once you have done this work – this is where the real adventures begin!!
Over To You on Self-Worth
So this is the time in our podcast where I say over to you. Why not try these steps that I’ve shared with you today.
When I look at where I am today compared to where I was three or four years ago it is like night and day. The connections in my life and the experiences I’m having are incredible.
I’m now creating and doing things in my life that I never thought possible – my relationships, business, health, and finances are all doing better because I made this decision to come home to myself – All because of this innate sense of self-worthiness.
Would You Like to Take a Deeper Dive
If you’d like to take a deeper dive into all of this join me and five other women as we journey through my new eight week program called The Source of Your Freedom Unlimited. If you are sick of feeling stuck and you’re ready to step deeply into your authenticity and self-worth join me for this intimate experience of self-care, self-nurturing, self-worth and personal power.
In The Source I’ll show you how to tap into your innate Source energy, let go of your old stories and build your self-worth so you can truly step into your purpose and unlimited freedom and take action on your dreams.
I’ll show you the exact steps I have taken to:
- Drop the anxiety, self-doubt and the voice of the nasty inner girl that used to cripple me
- Find my authentic voice and speak my truth in every part of my life – having conversations that mean something
- Create deeper, more intimate, connected and loving relationships
- Help my clients get bigger and better breakthroughs
- Build my business and boost my income by 30%
- Pursue and fulfill my dreams.
- And feel more free and happy in me every day.
In this program ‘ll show you how to:
- Connect deeply with your own Source energy and power
- Work with the master frequencies of trust, love, abundance, worthiness, gratitude, accepting and allowing
- Build a powerful sense of self-worth, freedom and happiness within yourself.
This will be an intimate small group experience with you at its centre. You’ll be fully held as we meet twice weekly online (1 x class and 1 x Q&A) and you receive regular support, connection and prompts via our private Facebook Group. You’ll also receive three private 1:1 coaching calls with me during The Source to make sure you receive exactly what you came for.
If you want to be part of this intimate small group experience email me asap at email@example.com as places are strictly limited.
The Source will start on 20 October 2020 and will be done by Christmas so you can start 2021 absolutely ready to live your purpose and dreams.
If you are sick of feeling less than and wondering when you’ll get your chance to shine then take this chance to join me in The Source.
As ever thank you so much for spending your time with me today. This is September so there is still time to win a free coaching session with me if you choose to subscribe, rate and review Your Freedom Unlimited on Apple Podcasts. To do that all you need to do is to visit jenramsey.com/win.
Until next time take great care
Thank you again for listening and until we connect again lots of love and take great care!
If you’d like to feel more calm and grounded right now click here to get access to my Choose Calm Meditation & 5 Step Guide To Choosing Peace and Calm: www.jenramsey.com/calm