Who has the loudest voice in your head your Inner Critic or you’re Inner Compassionate self? I know for me for a long time it was my inner critic …. but things changed for me a few years ago when I realised how I was cutting the ground out from underneath me with the negative stories “my nasty girl” was telling me and the words I was using about myself.
After a lot of difficult moments – mostly self-inflicted – I realised the vital importance of self-love and inner compassion. I also realised the voice we choose to listen to in our heads is a choice we make every second, and every minute of every day of our life. So the big question is who do we choose to listen to? The Inner Critic or the Inner Compassionate? And if self-love is something you struggle with what are the benefits of being more self-loving?
So this week on Your Freedom Unlimited we’re talking about the Inner Critic Vs the Inner Compassionate. This is off the back of an interesting week or two where I’ve had a family member who’s been very unwell (so I hadn’t been sleeping) and then I caught a bug (so I wasn’t feeling 100% myself) … and guess what happened … it really felt like the Inner Critic popped up for the first time in a really long time and was ready for a major party.
So what happened? My inner critic gave me a hard time for not being well, rather than remembering when one is unwell, that is a really clear sign from the body, that we need to slow down. Instead, my Inner Critic took this almost as an affront. She was annoyed at being unwell because it meant I could not achieve my goals. The resistance created through the annoyance delayed my recovery even more. And also made that period of downtime even more difficult than it needed to be. What a learning!!!
In this experience I gave myself a hard time for not being well, rather than remembering when one is unwell, that is a really clear sign from the body, that we need to slow down as there is something that needs to be addressed. Instead, my Inner Critic took this almost as an affront. She was annoyed as being unwell because it meant I could not achieve my goals. The resistance created through the annoyance and through my lack of self-love and self-compassion delayed my recovery even more. And also made that period of downtime, even more, difficult than it needed to be. What a learning!!!
This is why I wanted to share this episode with you because it’s so fresh from my experience and it’s a trap we can all fall into. We can so easily listen to that voice of the Inner Critic vs listening to the voice of that beautiful, compassionate self who actually wants the best for us. In that experience, I just shared I felt like I slammed the door completely shut on self-love and self-compassion!!!
So this week I want to focus on how and why we should listen more to our Inner Compassionate.
Firstly how can we do this?
As you may know, I speak a lot about emotional frequencies on this podcast – meaning that the frequency we focus on and hold in our bodies, and energetic field, is what we get. So if we want to drown out the voice of the Inner Critic we need to focus on raising the voice of the Inner Compassionate. The best way we can do this is by being really conscious of holding the frequency of self-love and self-compassion inside ourselves as much as we can.
I’m hearing some of you think this is way too hard so let me ask you a question … Is there someone else or another being in your life, like a pet, that you love? Are you caring, kind and gentle to them? If so you can do this for yourself … in time. I know it might not be something that comes easily to you right now … but it can happen. I promise because I made it happen.
What Are the Benefits of Self-Compassion and Self-Love?
So before I talk any more about how to generate more self-love and self-compassion let’s talk about the benefits of having them. Here are 6 good reasons why:
1. We Have A lot More Energy
Many of us have the habit of being very hard on ourselves to achieve an outcome. I’ve done this a lot let me tell you.
But it is so old paradigm. I’m not sure about you but beating myself up and working hard at all costs, to get to the outcome is a very tiring, very draining way of approaching the world. Especially when there is an easy way that will actually bring even more dividends.
When we listen to the voice of the inner compassionate vs the inner critic everything is a lot easier and we have more energy.
Why? Simply because we have far less energetic resistance and it means we’ve got more energy to actually do what we would like to do. Everything is so much easier and it means we have more energy to actually create more of what we want in our life which brings me to reason number two …
2. We Can Manifest More Easily
When we’re kinder to ourselves when we’re less critical of ourselves and less resistant to who we are, we are able to step more easily into the flow. And when we’re in the flow, we are able to access so much more inspiration, so many more ideas and so many more solutions.
So if you’re wanting to manifest a happier life, an easier life, and a more inspired life … where you can create what you want then self-compassion is the fast ticket to that. The old way of doing things – of working hard, beating yourself up, and putting pressure on yourself, will only get you so far because of all of the resistant energy you put in your own way.
Imagine if that amount of resistance, and negativity, was taken away and replaced by energy of self-love of flow, and compassion. Imagine how much more could be achieved in a day? And how much easier it would be, how much more fun, you would have.
I noticed this last week – me being hard on myself absolutely created more resistance and reduced my enjoyment of my life, and reduce my enjoyment of the moment.
Being compassionate and self-loving is one of the most powerful keys of manifestation that you can ever imagine. When I turned down the “nasty girl” inner critic in me and moved to be self-loving and self-compassionate I created a huge change in my life.
How? Because when I started loving myself and not seeing myself as a victim to circumstances but as a leader of my life, I realised I could start to create whatever it is that I wished for. My close personal relationships immediately improved – they were better than they had been in years, my health got a lot better and I increased my business turnover by 30%.
3. We’re More Likely to Be Kinder and Less Judgemental of Others
When we are kinder to ourselves, when we are more accepting of ourselves, when we are more loving towards ourselves, we are then able to then be more kind, and more accepting and more loving towards others … and less judgemental of others.
How does this work? If we don’t feel safe within ourselves we can move into fear or judgment if we feel that another person’s view or their position might threaten ours. We become judgemental because we are fearful at some level.
On the flip side – if we are feeling self-loving and self-accepting then nothing can affect our position. When we feel good about ourselves we are less affected by what others think, feel, do or say.
This is such an energetic relief to me and it is so important at this time when our communities locally, and globally, are so divided on so many things like Covid-19, vaccinations, and mandates, etc.
For me right now I see self-love and acceptance as a true path to a more peaceful community.
4. We Can Make a Difference to the Planet – Kindness Ripples Out
Numerous quantum science experiments have shown the observer affects the observed. This means if we’re feeling kind and self-loving toward ourselves this internal kindness will create an energetic ripple effect in our families, in our friendship circles, and in our communities. This energy can really ripple out and make a huge difference to how people are feeling overall.
How do we know this? Because we’ve all experienced the opposite. Just think back to some time when you were in a room with someone who was angry or fearful and thinks about how that negative energy made you feel. Often it can feel off-putting, a bit icky, and make you want to leave the space. Here we see how negative energy ripples out just as much as positive energy.
This is a really big reason for practising self-compassion, if nothing else, thinking about the impact on others – our mood and energy really does affect others.
5. We’ll Feel Confident to Step Into Our Power
When we are feeling more loving and compassionate towards ourselves we actually start to feel a lot better about ourselves. When this happens we start to really step into our own power. We back ourselves to do the things that really are most important to us.
This to me is one of the most important benefits of loving yourself because you go from thinking about doing things in your life to actually doing them. You actually make a plan and execute it. You start that project you feel passionate about and you make it happen.
There is an incredible power in self-love – where you start to believe in yourself enough to actually cross that line of fear and do something about it.
A case in point I’m doing things like this podcast, running live events for women and studying sound healing because I now love myself enough to invest my time and energy and effort into those things that matter the most to me.
I also have clients starting new businesses and literally new movements because they love themselves enough to take the plunge to try new things and deal with their fear.
This is what I really hope for you as well – because when we own our power we start to achieve our goals and do what’s most important to us
6. We’ll Be Happier And Have More Fun
Having experienced high functioning anxiety I can tell you that self-love is literally the bridge from hell to Heaven. When you are in an anxious state it can really feel like hell and when you move into a more loving state the whole game changes. Here I’m speaking from first-hand experience. I am happier in my life, and I’m having a lot more fun because I’m loving myself a lot more. It sounds really simple but it is really true.
The bottom line is that being self-loving and self-compassionate is the thing that opens the door to everything else that you wish for in your life. It opens the door to ease and grace and more love, and the ability to receive the ideas and inspiration to create whatever it is that you want most.
I’ve seen the difference that a complete change in my mindset from Inner Critic to Inner Compassionate has made to the entire quality of my life. I’ve moved from making unrealistic demands on myself, with really high levels of self-criticism and deep levels of personal shame to loving myself and accepting myself for who I am.
The changes across my life have been so significant – from my personal relationships to my health to my business. Everything in my life is better and this is what I wish most for you!
Over To You
As ever on Your Freedom Unlimited, it’s now time to hand this over to you. I hope you enjoyed this episode and that there may be some ideas you can try on for size.
In Episode 67 I’ll talk more about how you can create more self-love and compassion in your life.
In the meantime, if you have any questions or comments email me at email@example.com or DM me on Instagram @jenramseyfreedom. I’d love to chat more about your journey with self-love and to lend your hand in whatever way I can.
Before I go can you rate and review this podcast and also subscribe to it wherever you listen to your favourite podcasts. Every review and every rating help so I really appreciate your help in getting this work out to the world. Until we speak again lots of love Jen xo