How do we flip the switch on fear? How can we overcome it and use it as a tool to guide us to what we really want? In this week’s episode of Your Freedom Unlimited, we’re focusing on fear and more importantly how to overcome it!
This is the second in our two-part series on overcoming fear. Last week we talked about what fear is and I gave you six reasons to change your relationship with fear.
To go back and listen to that just visit Episode 50 of this podcast.
This week I want to share with you seven strategies to overcome your fear.
If this is your first time listening to this podcast you may be asking why am I devoting two episodes to fear? Because I believe anything that any of us really want is on the other side of our fear. Whether it’s a new business, job, new relationship or losing weight … whatever we’re afraid of, whatever is bringing up the most fear for us is actually the thing we are most keen to achieve. But somehow, our fear stands in our way from achieving our highest goals and dreams.
When I look back I can see how my fear has stopped me from doing some of the things I most value in life. My fear has stopped me from travelling, from taking jobs and from expanding as a person. It really stopped me from sharing my voice. It has kept me small and made me feel very frustrated.
It also stopped me from growing my business because it stopped me from sharing ideas like this. Why? Because I was afraid of what other people would think. Now I am sharing these ideas I’ve found the opposite is true – people tell me how valuable they find the ideas I share and the coaching and work that I do with them.
So my question to you is what has your fear stopped you from doing? What dream or goal have you not achieved because of a fear?
If you feel your fear has kept you playing small and feeling frustrated I hear you!!
How to Overcome Fear
So let’s do something about that. Let’s revolutionise our approach to fear. Let’s talk practically about what you can do right now to overcome fear and do what matters most to you! Let’s flip the switch on fear because the things we want most are always on the other side of our fear. Here are seven practical steps you can take to overcome your fear.
If you’re in therapy or using medication please continue with those. I’m wanting to open up a new conversation with you here about fear, to share what worked for me so you can potentially see your fear in a different light.
1. Realise Fear is a Natural Part of Being Human
As I said last week – fear is programmed into us to keep us safe. It is natural. Listen to Episode 50 to understand some of the neuroscience related to fear and why it does what it does in our body.
So the fact is fear is a natural emotion and a natural part of life. We cannot get away from it but we do have a choice in terms of how we deal with it. If we’re experiencing severe fear like anxiety it can be scary but it is manageable. We just might need to bring a few more tools to the table to do that. The next steps I’m sharing will help you do that.
2. Remember There is Only Fear or Love
When it comes down to it in this life there are only two streams of consciousness – we can choose to be in the consciousness of fear or the consciousness of love.
I’ve realised where we choose to put our focus is absolutely vital in dealing with our anxiety and fear. As I was healing I realised I had to continually choose the path of love rather than fear.
And when I focused on love then I immediately reduced the impact of fear in my life. A calm, loving thought towards myself or others can lead to another calm, loving thought.
I understand this is a big concept that could seem a little simple. But it really works – and after many years of complexity and trying to “fix” my anxiety I welcome simplicity.
So the simplest daily choice here is for me is to focus on love rather than fear. I don’t always get it right but I’ve found if I’m focused on love more than I’m focused on fear I’m a much calmer and happier person.
3. Turn Toward Your Fear Rather Than Run Away From It!
When we’re feeling fear we have two choices. One: We can panic and turn further away from it or Two: We can have the courage to turn toward it and deal with it.
I know for a long time when I felt fear I panicked and turned further and further away from it. This created a very vicious cycle where I became smaller and smaller and more and more a victim of it. Turning away did not make it any better. In fact it made everything worse.
So I encourage you to gently turn toward your fear. Just consider for a moment how you could have a relationship with your fear and anxiety instead of turning your back on your fear.
When I finally turned toward my fear I realised I was not going to die – that I was not a victim to it.
What was the major benefit of this? For a long time when I was experiencing very high level anxiety I really felt like I was a spectator life going through the motions. I wasn’t getting much enjoyment and the fulfillment and I was actually becoming smaller and smaller in my life.
When I started to build a relationship with my fear I moved from that place of being a spectator in life to actually being somebody that is actively participating. I started to feel more aligned, alive and engaged. I started getting what was most important to me done, and I felt so much fulfilment and success as a result of that.
Practically speaking turning towards your fear might look like going to a meeting you know will be tough, or having a difficult conversation with someone when you know it won’t be easy.
Let me also say I still experience fear and anxiety today but I have a completely different relationship with it. It’s much healthier and more productive! Today I actually walk towards my fears, rather than walking away from them. Why because I know there is a growth attached and by dealing with my fear I will get closer to what I want.
How Do We Practically Turn Toward Our Fear?
A key technique (shared by my therapist many years ago) is to breathe into the part or parts of body where we feel the fear. A number of years ago I was having what I now realise was a panic attack. I felt like I was very suffocating. In that moment I finally remembered to actually breathe into the fear and acknowledge its presence. Paradoxically when you breathe into the fear it dissipates. At the same time another set of words from another mentor came to my mind which was: “This too shall pass.”
That was a really powerful moment for me and it was the moment when everything shifted for me in relation to the anxiety. I went from feeling I was going to suffocate and die to realizing it wasn’t going to kill me.
So next time you’re feeling the fear turn into it, acknowledge it and breathe into it.
4. Realise You Are The Creator of Your Reality
Quantum physics tells us that the observer affects the observed and that we are the creators of our reality. What we think and feel, and the stories we tell ourselves will determine our outcomes.
As part of my healing process I realized all of the stories I was telling myself about my life, my relationships, my business – about not being good enough or smart enough – these were all just stories that I’d made up that actually had no foundation in truth.
They were stories I’d made up based on the negative things I’d told myself.
So one-by-one, over a period of time, I really started to look at each of these stories and to rewrite them for myself. And I chose to believe the new story rather than the old story.
5. Maintain a Strong, Powerful and Positive Frequency Daily
To really overcome fear we need to create a strong, powerful and positive frequency every day.
So what we need to do here is look at those things we are doing on a daily basis to see if they are helping us maintain a positive frequency or a fear-based frequency.
If you know me you know I’m a huge advocate of yoga and meditation. But these are things we’re doing for an hour or two a day at maximum. What are we doing to maintain a strong powerful positive frequency in the other 22 or 23 hours we have every day?
This is where I focus on bringing what I call the “Freedom Frequencies” into play in my life.
What are the Freedom Frequencies?
These are the emotional frequencies that I know help us maintain a really strong positive energy all day every day. They are the frequencies of love, gratitude, trust, accepting, allowing, and joy. I’ve talked a lot about these on the podcast and you can go back to those episodes to hear more about them. Click here for the episode on love, gratitude, trust, accepting, allowing, and joy.
The key is to consciously bring them into our into our daily life and make decisions and act from the perspective of these frequencies or emotions. This has been my practice over the last few years and I now share my Freedom Frequency Framework as part of the coaching I do with people really looking for a breakthrough on their fear or who are really ready to do what matters in their lives.
6. Have a Dialogue with Your Fear
As I said earlier the things we most often want are on the other side of our fear. So if we’re feeling fear it’s vital to look closely to work out what is trying to tell us. And it has so much to tell us!! I know if I’m feeling fear it is an indicator of a limiting belief that I need to address or an indicator of something that I really do want in my life. What I do now is I have more of a dialogue with my fear. I literally sit down and I ask my fear what is going on. I dive in and take a look. It is amazing what you will find!
7. Take Positive Action Forward Despite the Discomfort
Once we have done all of this we need to take positive action despite feeling uncomfortable. We need to take action.
As part of this I regularly practice doing things that take me out of my comfort zone and I coach myself through my fear.
A couple of weekends ago I visited Canberra for my cousin’s wedding. Over the weekend I had the time to go on one of these new electric scooters, which I’d never been on before.
Interestingly someone had, a couple of months before, planted a seed in my mind that I needed to be careful on these electric scooters and that I might fall. This is because I’m a bit goofy and a bit uncoordinated. They’d said this because they cared but the seed of fear had been planted.
So I was a bit stuck. I’d built up this fear about going on these scooters but I’d also seen how much fun people were having on them. So when my brother said let’s go around the lake I saw this as a perfect chance to get out of my comfort zone!
Here is a picture of Tony and I getting ready to go!
So I did. I was a little fearful as I got on but I realized this was a fear that I needed to face and embrace! So I did using every single step I have shared with you today on this podcast.
I chose love rather than fear, I turned toward my fear, I breathed into it, I coached myself and I used the Freedom Frequencies.
Was I nervous and a bit fearful? Yes! Did I do it anyway? Yes. Was it fun? Yes! And that was the point. I wanted to have fun with my brother and create a memory with him. That was on the other side of my fear!
It was such a sense of achievement. And when we’re pushing the envelope of our comfort zones we’re showing our psyches that we are ready, willing and able to deal with our fears. We’re telling the Universe, God or Spirit that we are ready to take more on board and we’re in the zone for growth and abundance.
Here is a video of me in action!!!
Why Is Your Freedom Unlimited Podcast So Important?
Last week I also promised to share why this podcast was such a milestone for me.
This podcast has pushed every button for me. Before I started it I wondered what people would think, what sort of reception I would get?
In the end I realized it didn’t matter what other people thought, what mattered most was for me to be going out of my comfort zone, participating in life and sharing my voice. After so many years of working in marketing and communication where I was promoting other people’s views and thoughts it was a real breakthrough to be sharing my own views and thoughts on things that were most important to me.
I’m so excited to have done it, and I am really honored by all of the feedback I have received from people.
Interestingly, taking action despite your fear, so that you can achieve the things that you really want to achieve, is also the ultimate philosophy of this podcast. I’m keen to equip you with the tools so that you can do what matters most to you in whatever area of your life is important to you – be professionally, personally or both. Because I know that when we’re doing those things that matter most to us that is when we feel most fulfilled, most happy and most successful!!
I’m looking forward to growing and developing this podcast as I grow and develop. So thank you for listening.
Over To You
As ever in this podcast it’s over to you. I’d love you to try these ideas on for size and to give something you are feeling afraid of a go. You can absolutely do this and when you do I promise you – you will feel amazing.
It is time for us to revolutionise our relationship with fear – one experience at a time.
Please share with me in the comments what you think and what you experienced when using these steps.
Until we speak again take great care and I’ll look forward to talking to you again soon.